Real domestic violence is a terrible problem.  In my experience, it is not as big a problem as the media and prosecutors make it out to be.  If you strike your partner, get professional help now.  If you are in a relationship where your partner strikes you, get out of the house now.  Safe-houses are easily found through the police or on the internet.  It is more important to leave now than it is to get someone arrested.  If you are wrongly accused of domestic violence, get a lawyer and stay away from that relationship forever.  The Sheriff will help you get your property out of a shared residence.  This is called a civil assist and it is free.

WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

Domestic Violence means an act or threatened act of violence upon a person with whom the actor is or has been involved in an intimate relationship.  Domestic violence includes crimes against person or property or an animal when used as a method of coercion, control, punishment, intimidation, or revenge directed against a person with whom the actor is or has been involved in an intimate relationship. 

Domestic violence charges require an arrest.  Prior to release, the accused must appear before a judge to be advised of a mandatory protection order.  A domestic violence conviction requires 36 weeks of domestic violence classes. 

BEWARE OF THE DEFERRED SENTENCE OFFER

All people charged with domestic violence of any kind should fight the charges.  Especially on the first alleged incident of domestic violence.  Often, people charged with domestic violence get a first time offender program deferred sentence offer.  This is presented by the prosecutor as a way to get the case dismissed if you complete domestic violence classes.  The problem is that the alleged victim will often make another claim soon after the deal is struck.  The new charge is a violation of the deferred sentence agreement.  And, since you already pled guilty to the original charge, a violation means that the case will not be dismissed and you will be convicted and sentenced for domestic violence.  This will follow you forever. 

GREAT CASES TO TAKE TO TRIAL

Domestic violence cases are great to take to trial.  Unlike a DUI or traffic case, the only witnesses are typically you and the accuser.  A police officer was not watching during the alleged event.  Many accusers are guilty of some provocation or outright assault.  Juries know that people lie when relationships are falling apart.  An experienced domestic violence attorney can get to not guilty with proper investigation and preparation.

A GOOD RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT LEAD TO JAIL

The biggest mistake many people make in domestic violence cases is trying to repair the relationship.  Remember, there is a restraining order in place and you cannot communicate in any way with the accuser or any witness without a Judge changing the restraining order.  Violation of a restraining order is a crime and a violation of bond conditions (also a crime).  The best way to ruin a great domestic violence case is to communicate with the accuser or a witness.  Two charges are harder to win than one.  Your bond will be revoked and a very high bond will be imposed.  Violation of bond conditions is easy to prove and carries a mandatory minimum 6 months in jail (no probation).

In my experience, accusers often feel bad about calling the police.  In part because they lied, but also because they did not get what they want - your immediate attention.  They want you back in their lives immediately and do not care what the judge said.  By the way, the accuser is not restrained from communicating with you.  Many violations of restraining orders start with a telephone call or text message from the accused.  In the beginning, things are good and the accuser does not call the police.  But, as soon as the accuser does not get everything s/he wants, the police get called and you go to jail.

If your relationship leads to jail, then maybe that relationship is not the right one for you. 

(Great sex is no excuse.  Most personality disorders involve over-sexualized behavior.  Unfortunately, people with personality disorders will call the police and lie to gain control or to punish.  If the sex is great, but you are in jail, the chances are s/he has a personality disorder that you cannot fix.  If this could be the case, run from that relationship as fast as you can.)

FELONY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Repeated calling or following a person can lead to a felony charge of domestic violence.  Also, more severe injuries and weapons involved in assault or threats will be charged as felonies.  These are very serious and require an experienced domestic violence attorney. 

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CONSEQUENCES

A conviction will prevent you from owning or possessing a firearm.  For non-citizens, it can lead to deportation.  For military and police, it can end your career.  Jail, fines and classes are near term consequences, but remember these charges stay on your record forever and may affect your career.